Fire up vs Discouragement

Sometimes you will feel so fire up about something, thus because of that short term emotion it just keeps you moving, serving, giving and do things beyond what you usually does. Sometimes when you feel discourage about something, also bacause of that short term emotion makes you feel sad, negative, no mood, no energy and lack of zeal and even doing nothing.

I felt moved by all the things happening recently, but I also struggle to control my mood swing. I'm negative sometimes and felt so lost today in church therefore I kept myself occupied and shall not think much into what I felt. So I tell myself, be mature and take charge of those feelings.

Yup, God gave us a spirit of Power and of Love and Self Discipline. Vincent said self disciplined needed to be trained. I know it is bad enough to always go by emotion please pray that God help me to trained those emotions to be more positive about myself.

Nomater how the emotions goes, please reach out to me k. David says go and reach out to others don't wait for them to come to you. I realise that I'm getting more and more insecure. I don't know what to ask and what to share at times. Please do speak the truth to me ya if I'm abit self focus, I'll make every effort to deal with it.

I'll learn to come forward.

3 Days 3 Months and 3 years

Today was the third day back home in KL. There has been lots of activities and meetings and spending time on going. Like what Daniel says welcome home to reality. Yup its reality and this is the life that God has planned for me. Back to church, focusing on the great commission and the great commandment.

I have my first call(core) group meeting ( Still figuring out this new term ) on Saturday and we had real great fellowship and updates about our church plan. It just feels so good and I'm looking forward to repent and involve in peoples life again this year.

Talking about repentance, I've been looking back at the dreams that I wrote in the time capsule. Nothing has been achieved nor I had done anything to achieve it. Thus, 3 years to go to get those goals on track and getting people to keep me accountable. To get back those zeal, focus and direction in life.

God has been so good to me. Since it was Father's day I just wanna thank him for loving me and giving me a new life which I never deserved it. Yew Ching told me yesterday, what is greater than the gift of salvation than you can give someone? It touches my heart to know that God gave me such a wonderful gift that I ought to share with others as well. Sometimes I totally missed the point, the truth is I felt so struggled in following ups and getting people to church. I really needs lot of encouragement and help in this area. Praying for boldness and openness to share faith with others as well.

Today service was awesome manage to catch up with a few disciples and listen to a great sermon by Patrick. I'm very grateful to be back in Church, somewhere which I felt belong to, felt love by the Brothers and Sisters, somewhere I could pour out my feelings and a place where I could encourage others as well.

It was just so great to be in church. My heart beats faster than usual, like the lost sheep who found his master, the joy was overwhelming. Since good intention to repent is not enough, God has started to put me on training. I was asked to share communion at Ipoh bible talk...I'm in deep thoughts and struggle when I heard that. Oh my God what am I got to share, my life was not inspiring at all. Nothing that I'm proud of.....All negative feelings started to mingled in my mind. I'm in deep breath...Feeling so fearfull..I'm getting more timid than usual. I need to get down on my knee and pray for it.

Today is also a day where we have farewell for Shiau Fong Kim at Garry Avenue K. I missed her although she is my roommate. She went back to Campus officially and we will no longer travel together for Bible talk, evangelism, spending time etc...But I'm really proud of her in many ways. God always have his best plan for each one of us and I know she'll do great in Campus. So I just need to learn to let Go and Let God to carry out his plan.

As for my small group we had great plan as well. Since we has yet able to meet up and plan out our schedule for the next six month but we already had massive plan in mind. We wanted to be fit in all areas and by God's help we pray that we'll able to grow and not staying in our comfort zone. Since I'm really weak in follow ups I have sisters to keep me accountable.

So..Till then do inspire me as I'm working hard to inspire you guys as well.

TK Ya! And have an awesome weekend.