I wish I could be like Jane or Wye Leng that I could be spiritual all the time. But at times I fail to still do what is right, knowing clearly what the bible says and what God expect from us. Like Paul I oso don't know why I do what I dont want to do and yet still do it.
Like Eve, knowing clearly what God told her not to eat the forbidden fruit yet ate it.Hmm...I am so weak..I am battling to pick up myself every morning..some morning I woke up feeling really misserable and loss about where I am heading to. I loss my passion for people and felt alone in this world...that reminds me of the song "This world is not my home"
I sat in the train this morning, battling in my mind what happened the past few days..and reading the book "Secure in Heart". It was so true that I felt lonely at times..I felt no body is around to care and concern about me. I m only expected to care and concern of another person. Am I wrong to expect as well?
I know he will comfort me...
I can see now, God that your decisions are right;
Your testing has taught me what's true and right
Oh, love me and right now! hold me tight!
just the way you promised
Now comfort me so I can live, really live;
your revelation is the tune I dance to
Psalm 119:75-77
1 comment:
mmm... such heavy post to read... must understand that Jane and Whye Leng also human being... they are battling struggles that you do not know. But one thing for sure, they have trained in their discipline, that's why they resist temptations better than you do. Remember last Sunday's sermon? Delay gratification and self-control is the key to live a temptations resistance life.
Everyone feel lonely at times, the different is the frequency of it. One way of fighting it is to fill up your time with worthy activity and thoughts. There's no wrong in expecting, just that the one who expect must understand also one must be ready to dissapoint.
You are expected to care and love because your wanted to do it yourself. Stop thinking that others expect you do to do it, it won't make you happier. If you don't want to care, then don't care. It has to come from withing you. Fight on, your journey is not that long as it may seen.
Besides, your feeling of nobody care and concern about you is not true - and you knew it. It's just that they didn't care and concern you in the way you wanted.
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